Dear Dayna,
I’ve always planned to check-out a lesbian bar, but I’m stressed that I am not cool enough. The way you speak about it is so remarkable and fun and stunning, but i am terrified i am too introverted for the scene. And also easily could easily get myself personally to a bar, i believe i might throw up easily made an effort to hit on a lady. I absolutely would you like to go out and socialize and discover a girlfriend, but my social anxiousness keeps getting in just how. What are some tips for a first time nerdy lesbian?
â Lesbian Urkle
Dear Lesbian Urkle,
I could experience the respect of offering guidance as a lesbian gender and matchmaking writer, but oh honey!
We panic my method through life
, and that means you’ve started to the right spot for help. Though I am a nervous hottie, I still on a regular basis go out, generate and attach. Exactly how, you ask? Follow these basic steps: Have a look breathtaking, drink and push yourself to keep in touch with visitors.
First circumstances initially:
You’ll need a new ensemble
. I won’t lay for you â
yes, lesbian taverns is generally intimidating.
Indeed, the scene can feel only a little cliquish. Yes, girls tend to be hot and clothed impeccably. Nevertheless understand what else? Those same women are humans just like you and me personally. They may be out over have a good time like everyone else and myself. Plus they are probably driving for sex just like you and myself. Guess what happens otherwise?
You will be in the same manner cool and swaggy should you overcome the anxiety.
Once you’ve scored a hot new outfit (might i would suggest black colored jeans and a leather-jacket to experience it traditional lez elegant?), it is advisable to drink. We never ever mentioned this is healthier information! I am a nightlife lez, not a physical fitness lez. Ingesting loosens you upwards, reduces your own inhibitions and heightens your confidence. But don’t take in in excess. You believe you may have personal anxiousness now, girl? It is nothing compared to the crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral might feel should you decide awake tomorrow not remembering yesterday. You’ve got a five-drink max, babe.
More important than sipping has been good. I used to end up as major mean-girl-mode as a defense method based on how vulnerable I was feeling. I’d scowl at anyone that considered me. I acted like I found myself too good to talk to complete strangers. Now I am usually smiling and say to hi everyone. It’s simpler plus much more fun. I know it’s easier to put your tough-babe armour on when you’re feeling nervous, but being prone and sort is actually a much better solution to socialize and take pleasure in yourself.
Residing my personal fab existence has actually trained myself a really important thing: It isn’t really that significant. Like, there’s nothing. Particularly lifestyle! Every day life is quick. Absolutely nothing you are doing will truly matter (okay, today the Jenny Schecter in me personally is coming away, slice the nihilism). Basically, merely state choose it, and have a great time. I think inside you. Assuming the thing is me personally completely, come say hi!
Xoxo,
Dayna
Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is happy to-be Associate Editor at GO mag. She’s passionate about lesbian intercourse + relationship, charm + trend, and her badass bionic arm. The recommendations offered in this column is intended for informative purposes only and should not change or replacement for any healthcare, or any other qualified advice or assistance.